There’s nothing that can compare with the things kids say when you least expect it.

The first example I can think of was when Paige Cabral answered a question I asked her following her preschool graduation ceremony last Sunday. It was a question that I had asked tons of graduates, from junior high, elementary, high school and even college over the years. It was something like “how does it feel now that you’ve passed this milestone in your life?”

Most of the time I get some lengthy answer about how the grad feels accomplished, ready to take on the world, or complete. I guess Paige took my question as one of concern about her welfare. She answered in two short sentences. “Fine.” and “Really, I feel fine.”

The simplicity and honesty was really fun.

Then later, I heard another story about her fellow grad, Isaiah Ingram.

It seems Isaiah had been seen throwing a ball at his dog.

“Isaiah, did I just see you throw your ball at that dog?” John Ingram asked his 5-year-old son.

“I sure hope not, pa,” he said, to which his dad then asked, “Was it an accident?”

The boy thought a moment and responded, “Dad, I don’t want to lie to you, so could you say it was (an accident) so I don’t have to?”

That cunning little guy is going to grow up to be a preacher or a politician.

Light in my loafers

I’ve been watching my weight for a while now, since I’ve got my thyroid issues more or less straightened out, thanks to Dr. Bev Benson. And I’ve started to get more exercise.

I’m getting more exercise because my cars need fixin’ and I don’t want to spend the money to repair them right away. Besides, when I first came here I used to walk everywhere.

As a result, I’m starting to lose a little lard.

How do I know, or am I just joshing, I hear someone asking.

Well, this is a little weird, but last week, Wednesday, after I was done with the paper I had picked up a printer cartridge from the St. Helena Star office and was carrying it, and one other box at the same time in one arm while trying to stuff my hands in my pocket to get the keys to my office out. Suddenly, I felt my trousers slip.

Gulp.

With each step I took from the car, parked in the lot behind my office, toward the back office door I felt them slip. I couldn’t pull them up because my hands were full. So I started taking smaller steps and calculating how close I’d be to the door when my jeans would finally hit the dirt.

As it was, I made it all the way to the door, and just a second or two before I got the door latch worked loose, whoosh! Down they went.

I cocked my ears to see if I could hear banjos playing as I looked around.

It was about 7 p.m., so Joan Albright from the Wine Stop was already long gone. I was thankful for small favors. I wouldn’t wish getting an eyeful of my legs on a worm.

So anyway, I hauled the door open and tossed the boxes into my office floor, bent over and hoisted my blue jeans back into their proper position, looked around and didn’t see anyone. I guessed I was just lucky, but as I closed the door I remembered the wall of dark glass at the gym over at the Calistoga Spa Hot Springs. I wondered if some lucky guy or gal on a treadmill over there had gotten a freebie, or a photo they can post on their Web site.

Anyway, this is going to be a great weekend. Lots to do in Calistoga. I guess I’d better wear suspenders while I’m taking pictures of the Fourth of July Parade. I don’t want to be mistaken for a circus clown!

Have a safe and happy Fourth of July, you all, and enjoy the time with about 10,000 visitors!

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